Beware of the Male Feminist

Never is a man so potentially dangerous to a female-read person as when he claims to be a feminist. But this is not an opinion that will endear you to many feminists, even other women. “How can you alienate your own allies?” they say. “How perfect do you really expect them to be?” they say. “Why are you so distrustful? How jaded can you be?” But especially in dating as a feminist woman who seeks romantic and sexual relationships with men, it’s a necessity. It’s a question that needs to be asked. It’s a suspicion well-advised. Male feminists are not immune to their masculine socialization – which is categorically toxic. They’re supposed to seek to dismantle it. But with so many stories floating around (and the many more that are silenced by fear) about “male feminists” who use their social justice rhetoric as a way to wield abusive behaviors, it’s clear that some of our quote-unquote “allies” are combining toxic masculinity with feminism to create a terrifying hybrid.