Stop Child Abuse Now (SCAN) - 2888

Tonight's special guest is Marvin T from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, who'll be telling his story of emotional abuse and scapegoating during childhood. His first memory of his parents at 3 years old included acts of physical and emotional abuse as punishment for saying he didn't feel loved. This set the tone for an abusive relationship that lasted another 15 years, until he was 18 years old. Over the course of these 18 years, Marvin was the least favored of his siblings and was regularly subjected to acts of physical intimidation, violent threats, and humiliation. One act of humiliation involved his mother showering him when he was 11 under the pretense that dandruff was a sign of uncleanliness and "she needed to do the job herself." Despite being a straight 'A' student and generally kind-hearted by nature, Marvin was considered defective for his obesity and his queerness, as Marvin is bisexual (and proudly so). Marvin considers himself the family scapegoat, where all problems that can't be dealt with in a constructive way are blamed on a designated member of the family. He is also a family mascot, who brings narcissistic supply, status, and positive emotional support to the family at his own expense and despite being abused by said family. Marvin was raised with an intense sense of loyalty to his family, which kept him from sharing his story until his 29th birthday, almost 6 months after realizing his treatment as a child was abuse. While he still believes in the importance and value of family, Marvin is telling his story to finally break the toxic trauma bonds to his nuclear family in order to create space for healthier bonds based on love, compassion, and respect. He also feels a deep sense of comradery and compassion for other child abuse victims and shares his story as an act of solidarity and mutual support.