158: Disability, Sex, and Creativity – Kate Wolovsky

On this episode, we learn how to maximize connection and pleasure if you are affected by physical barriers. Kate Wolovsky shares her story being affected with MS and still having a happy sex life despite this condition.

Disability Affects More Than Your Physical Body
Kate shares that having a disabled body early on in life led to a lot of shame. She also shares her husband’s story as a completely disabled person, expanding on how disability extends from physical to emotional as well.

She refers to Dr Kinsey’s approach to research and how people react from physical trauma. We don’t need to ask about a traumatic event to know what the impact of it is. Indicators can be found in other areas of peoples lives through their emotions, sex lives, and interactions – according to her.

She sheds light on the difficulties disabled people have with even their medical professionals not being equipped to talk to them or understand them as normal people, which is something she is working on through her surveys.

Learning to Talk to Your Providers
Kate mentions that people struggling with disabilities are unsure of what they can ask and that’s where she plays a key role in helping people. Kate lightheartedly advocates that disabled people are sexy and uses the word “adumbptions” to describe dumb assumptions made about disabled people.

Kate strongly encourages more meaningful conversations with disabled people pointing out that conversations with disabled people can be broached the same way as able-bodied people. She discusses where the blocks are and how she and her husband try to alleviate these issues. Their surveys are an example of this. She suggests that you participate in their survey which is used to gather information to help you educate your providers.

What’s the same for everyone
Consent is important for everyone. Innovation in all aspects of your life. She mentions furniture that works for you or using zoom to keep your re