Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode 30: Understanding the Adopted Child

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode 30: Understanding the Adopted Child

1. Understand that “adoption” may be difficult to speak about

• Children may not always be sure when and if we can speak about adoption, to whom, when, where and how much is okay to talk about.
• Some adopted children may not want to talk about adoption in front of anyone else.

2. Make sure that your adopted child knows they are adopted- don’t wait!

• Tell your child when they are younger and as they get older include more details that are age appropriate

3. Understand that separation and death can be a trigger

• In some aspects, regardless of the age a child is adopted, they may need a higher amount of reassurance than the average child.
• Adopted children want to feel secure and safe as well as permanency and focus on “forever.”
• Adopted children may have abandonment issues, even if they were adopted at birth. 

4. Adopted children's behaviors should not always be attributed to adoption

• Children may just get angry sometimes and it has nothing to do with being adopted
• Sometimes it may be easier to attribute issues to adoption and when am adopted child grows through a behavioral phase, it may or may not have anything to do with being adopted.
• If an adopted child is sensitive about being adopted and has triggers, make sure you are aware of those triggers and work on preventative measures to avoid them and de-escalate them. 

If you are pregnant and are considering adoption, we are a licensed, full-service, non-profit Arizona Adoption Agency.  You can contact us 24/7 at (623) 695-4112.