Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode 56: The Hardest Time For a Birth Mother

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode 56: The Hardest Time For a Birth Mother

For one woman the most difficult time may be walking through the door of the adoption agency, having made the choice to place her baby for adoption. For another it may be choosing the adoptive family, worrying that she won’t choose the right one.  Another may really struggle with telling friends, family members and co-workers about her adoption choice.  Another may struggle with an ongoing battle in her head regarding how she is in a place in her life where adoption is the best choice for her and her baby.

A common thread is leaving the hospital and saying good bye to their baby.  They have already experienced the trauma of labor and delivery, (yes trauma.)  And then choosing how much time to spend with their baby and then saying goodbye to their baby can be another traumatic moment.

Because saying goodbye at the hospital is one of the hardest aspects of adoption, even comprehending it hurts.  We can dive a little deeper.  When a birth mother chooses open adoption, if they have a good relationship spending  time together at the hospital helps in many aspects. Seeing the adoptive family with the baby helps some, it may bring peace in the future to know that your baby will be well taken care of and loved to the moon and back. 

When discharge happens, I have seen many a birth mother want to leave asap.  Sometimes Birth mother and baby leave at the same time..  As I have stated before, is very important for any birth mother to not leave empty-handed, so a vase of flowers or a teddy bear needs to be given to her so she can hold something as she leaves. 

I always remind birth mothers, in open adoption, it is not good-bye, it is see you later.