Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode #77: Parenting An Adopted Child, Part 2

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode #77: Parenting An Adopted Child, Part 2

Depending on factors, variables, belief in parenting styles parenting a biological child in comparison to parenting an adopted child are not very different. The focus should be added into your parenting rather than taken out.  Here are some examples and suggestions in a brief overview.  Listen to the episode to hear in depth:

1.  When bringing an adopted newborn home, it is recommended to not overstimulate the baby.
2. Remember the nature vs. nurture debate.
3. Don’t alter or change your parenting style because you want to focus on the fact that your child was “adopted.”  Alter or change your parenting style because it would be a better match with your child and your household.
4. Try to let the “adopted” word go.  Focus on your child, rather than on your “adopted” child.
5. Try not to fall into the category of “well if he was my biological child….”
6. Teach what a family is from the beginning focusing on things like: love, dedication, support, commitment rather than strictly on biology.
7. Try to “normalize” adoption in your household.
8. Stop talking about how “lucky” you or your adopted child is; or do it in the same way you would about a biological child.
9. Be mindful of what you say and do.
10.  Teach your child how to celebrate differences and similarities.  

Parenting an adopted child should be viewed as adding in some extra layers to secure a solid parent-child relationship.  The most important aspect of parenting an adopted child, in my opinion is to insure: unconditional love, unconditional acceptance, unconditional forgiveness, permanence and stability.