Birth Mother Matters in Adoption #85: Naming Your Baby

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption #85: Naming Your Baby

Adding adoption into the equation, adds another layer.  This is a very, very touchy subject for all parties involved.  This is the way  the law works, at least here in Arizona.  A birth mother can put whatever name she chooses on the birth certificate.  The adoptive family can have the baby’s name legally changed when the adoption is finalized.  That being said, naming can be a very, very touchy and emotional experience  for all parties involved.  Usually, the baby’s last name remains the birth mother’s until the adoption is finalized.

In the best situations, birth mothers and adoptive families decide on the baby’s name together and that name is kept.  Here are some other situations that seem to be the next best scenarios:

1. The birth  mother and adoptive family each choose one of the baby’s names; the adoptive family chooses the first name and the birth mother chooses the second.
2. Vice versa
3. The birth mother names the baby but understands that the name will be changed when the adoption is finalized.

There are some ways to facilitate these best-case scenarios:

1. The adoptive family gives the birth mother their favorite top three names and she chooses
2. Vice Versa
3. The adoptive family incorporates the  birth mother’s name into the baby’s name with her permission
4. Both sides present why their choice of name is important and when the opposing side hears the reasoning understand and agrees.

A birth mother may want to name her baby and know that her baby will have this for the rest of their life.  The adoptive family will get to raise the baby and allowing a birth mother this opportunity is an amazing way to show her how much you appreciate her!