Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 2, 111: Adopted Siblings, Part 2 of 2

The only real way two adopted children can have the same adoption story is if the same biological parents place a second baby for adoption with the same adoptive family, with the same Post Placement Communication Agreement, and even then there may be a different set of circumstances.  Because children don’t generally like to be singled out of feel different you can point out the following “non-traditional families”

Children generally want to be like everyone else, so adding words in front of -siblings, -sister, -brother, just gives a shout out that  this is not a traditional relationship.

• Adopted Siblings/ Adopted Sisters/ Adopted Brothers
• Foster Siblings/ Foster Sisters/ Foster Brothers
• Step Siblings/ Step Sisters/ Step-Brothers
• Half Siblings/ Half Sisters/ Half Brothers

Adoption stories can be handled with care to not over-inflate or segregate a child’s personal history.  The focus can be on how much this child means to the family and how their life journey will  be very similar his or her siblings, since they are being raised together.  Changing the focus after discussing their adoption story to the here and now and what they can do gives the child control and power, which is important when a child feels a lack of control as they may feel if their adoption story is compared to a sibling’s adoption or birth story.  At the end of the day, we are really just talking about family.  Make th focus on what a family is and what makes a family.