Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 2, 128: Birth Mother Support

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 2, 128: Birth Mother Support

Birth Mothers need and want your support as an adoptive family. 

Here are some ways you can effectively show your support.

(Always make sure these ideas and suggestions are in compliance with your state adoption laws, your attorney and/ or agency adoption laws.)

1. Send support notes to your birth mother that are handwritten that she can save forever.  A small note can carry a big message.  Make sure that you understand what is appropriate to include and avoid anything that could be deemed as “coercion.”
2. If a holiday occurs during the time you are matched, make sure you find out what your adoption entity allows and partake in any event or gift they suggest.  Focusing on the birth mother rather than on the baby she is carrying.
3. If your adoption agency or attorney informs you of an unexpected situation and you are given the option of additionally funding for your birth mother, maybe for a type of housing, an unforeseen expense or someone of that nature- give serious consideration to doing so if financially you are able to.
4. Really consider compromising on the baby’s name.  This will be a HUGE concession with a birth mother.  We have discussed the importance of this before and I cannot reiterate this enough- this has caused adoption disruptions, negatively impacted adoptive and birth parent relationships after placement.
5. When arriving at the hospital- don’t arrive empty handed.  A basket of hospital necessities for your birth mother may be very well received and appreciated.  Your birth mother will not leave empty handed and she will most likely use and enjoy the following items:
   1. Fuzzy socks
   2. Lotion
   3. Mints or candy
   4. A hair brush and hair ties
   5.