Ilene Dillon, MSW: Disappointment & Failed Expectations

What Do You “Take” for Dashed Expectations? Getting off the roller coaster of “ups” and “downs” with our emotions is a challenging task for us humans. Add to that the idea that we largely do this to ourselves, and it can be even more challenging and frustrating! It just might come down to a matter of how we learned to handle dashed expectations in our very early life. We tend to repeat the emotional patterns of the first 7 years of our lives during our adult living. If you were given a distraction, told “you’ll get over it,” offered some food, allowed to stay home from school for the day—and so forth—you’ll tend to repeat those patterns now that you’re an adult. We’re going through a time that offers us an opportunity to look at the way we handle ourselves when things don’t turn out the way we wanted, when we encounter disappointment, and when it’s time to live our lives even though things are not as we really, really wanted them to be. Let’s explore this together!

The elections have occurred. Did they all turn out the way you wanted—the way you expected? Are you angry at what others did; angry with yourself for not doing all you could do? Are you ready to leave the country; or are you ready to celebrate your country and its new leaders? What are you going to do with your feelings of disappointment, of sadness, or of joy? This year’s elections offer us a wonderful opportunity to look at how we develop expectations, what we do to support (or not support) what we want in life, and how we handle things when what we had been hoping for doesn’t materialize. Longtime Psychotherapist Ilene Dillon is looking at this issue this week.