The changing of the gods: How do we deal with fear of change

We've been in this abusive relationship for quiet some time and now rom the looks of it , it seems not to be getting any better. Lets deal with this fear of change, fear of doing anything for ourselves, fear of any one that looks like us that seems to be trying to help we will attack them. Fear of white folk getting mad or their feelings being hurt if we alk about or even act like we want to be free. How do you free people ;that don't know they don't have to live the way were living. How do we deal with racism/ low self esteem and a mindset that don't feel like they are deserving of anything?