GOD'S JUSTICE: Rethinking Motherhood

AS A WOMAN, I HAVE FOUND myself constantly asking others for instructions, and I have done so all my life! Haven't you? Think about it: It always seems to be someone else's opinion that holds the most influence over how we feel about whether we're successful. It's all about our relationships, and how those work out always seems to be up to someone else, especially in family court.

Isn't it the cliché that women need social validation more than men at our jobs, with our friends, in our families? And this has got to stop if you want to be your own person.

BUT WHY WOULD YOU want to be your own person? I'm thinking of the parable about the wise man who built his house upon the rock instead of the shifting sands. Your identity and value structure is non-negotiable. Maybe that's what your children need to see most: the person who sets the standard for how others treat her, who puts her foot down and says "No more!"

Honesty, even when it isn't pretty. Even when it reflects your true feelings about being discarded by the very people who should have cherished you. Maybe your children need to see you fighting back to appreciate you. Maybe you have to decide for once that respect is what makes your life worth living.