"FROM TEARS TO TRIUMPH" We will be discussing self-blame.

I am a survivor of extreme child abuse. I am not a licensed therapist. I am just someone who went through the self-blame. I still fight it at times, as we all do. I felt a therapist was annoyed at me when she kept asked, "Whose fault is this?" I replied, "Mine."

It took years and years to finally stop accepting the abuser's blame: "It is all your fault"; "You made me angry"; "If you would have..."; the gas-lighting seemed to be the problem. I was also abused basically since birth, so taking the blame was easier to deal with. There was no way I would fuss back at my parents. I just wanted the cruelty to end.

My step-mom, Sue, would tell me, "If things kept happening to you, it means it is your fault."  Oh, how the abusers love shifting the blame. Our self-esteem and self-loathing take a toll. Sometimes, it is easier to bite the bullet by remaining silent and not having any emotions surrounding what was being inflicted upon us.

Psychology Today has an article written by Michael J. Formica, EDm, NCC, LPC 'Enlightened Living' corresponding to self-blame at the link below. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/enlightened-living/201304/self-blame-the-ultimate-emotional-abuse