Move from Powerless to Empowered in Your Relationships with Carol the Coach

In 2019, Charlen Benson, wrote the book Unstuck book. She has added a missing piece to the book and wanted our viewers to know that she has created a Study Guide which  offers thought provoking questions, easy-to-follow checklists, road-tested tips, healing exercise, insightful writing prompts, and profoundly moving prayers.

She explains to Carol the Coach, "When we are ‘on the road’ in our relationship, we get along fine and are able to navigate amicably our varying interests and desires.  On the road, we are conscious, mindful, balanced, and aware. 

However, when we don’t know how to balance our wants and desires with our mate, it’s like we get stuck in a ditch. Where we land depends on childhood experiences.  We either default to becoming a people pleaser Others-Focused” (OF) or insist on our own way “Me-Focused.” (MF).  Over time I discovered 21 predictable OF and MF default behaviors, though that’s not an exhaustive list. Each ditch behavior represents and extreme behavior that is a subconscious, automatic, preprogrammed, reaction, driven by fear and feeling powerless to do anything else.  When the default behaviors don’t work, we switch to the opposite extreme reaction, propelling our counterpart to the opposite ditch.

OF’s engage in their behaviors to protect themselves from the rejection they experienced in childhood by acting in abandoning ways, while MF’s try to protect themselves from abandonment by acting in rejecting ways. 

When we identify our reactive behaviors, name the fears driving them, we then can overcome those fears by engaging in a combination of the 24 strategies offered. "

Find out how you can create healthier relationships too!