Your Family System — Open or Closed?

No Dreams, Only Rules

The basic difference between a closed system and an open one is how it reacts to change. A closed system tries to remain static. It’s rigid and follows the same rules even though they are no longer appropriate. There is no flow of information, so people don’t share thoughts, interests, or dreams. Thus, no new ideas come into the system to keep it fresh and vibrant.

It’s like living in a house with all the windows and doors boarded up. It’s stifling inside. People can’t flourish — they can only exist because the family culture doesn’t support the natural changes that occur as kids grow older and mature into the people they are intended to be. 

Looking for Opportunities

In contrast, an open family system looks for opportunities to meet each new reality that comes along and to make changes to accommodate them. 

Healthy families dream together about what they want to create in the future. They talk about plans for individual family members and for the family as a whole. They strategize about how they will meet their goals and they look to the future with open arms.

1. People Are Celebrated

A few years ago, Sherri confided in me that her daughter had just told her she was a lesbian. It was difficult for her and her husband at first. They hadn’t been expecting that news.

2. Relationships Are Nurtured

In a healthy family system, relationships are strong. Open families welcome spouses into the nuclear family and make them feel valued and important. They know it is essential to incorporate new members into their culture and to give them time to assimilwhoate their ways.

People who should listen to this show are entrepreneurs, career