A Step-by-Step Guide on How to Build a Thicker Skin

For some of us, insults or offensive comments roll off our shoulders like no big deal

How to Develop Thicker Skin

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines thick skin as, “an ability to keep from getting upset or offended by the things other people say and do.” It’s when someone else’s comments don’t matter because the only opinion and voice that does is our own.

Step 1: Learn to take others’ perspectives into account.

This is so basic but so hard to remember in the moment.

Step 2: Nurture the relationships closest to you.

Various evidence has pointed out that what matters most in our lives is meaningful relationships.

Step 3: Focus on your own self-care routines.

Audre Lorde, a civil rights leader, once said, “Self-care is not indulgence, it is self-preservation.”

In other words, building thick skin relies on having strategies to self-soothe and fall back on when life gets hard (as it will!). 

Step 4: Practice positive self-talk.

This almost falls under the umbrella of self-care, but we decided it truly needed its own step for emphasis. This practice draws on many aspects of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

Step 5: Set realistic expectations.

Many times we get let down simply because of our own expectations.

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