Stop Child Abuse Now (SCAN) - 2970

Tonight's special guest is Terrie MacClalus from North Creek, in upstate New New York, raised as the middle child of 5. "At ten, my parents split up and we became a tug of rope," she explains. "That was also the end of my innocence and the beginning of what would become sexual harassment and a feeling of unworthiness and just feeling dirty. Shame was heavily used to teach lessons – perhaps too heavily." Since she took all her Mom's comments to heart, she didn't think she was good enough to deserve a normal, decent life, to have what others have. She tried anyway, over and over. "Since I can remember, I wanted to help children with abuse in any way I could. I was discouraged because it took 8 yrs of college and I was supposed to just take my shoes off, get married, and have kids. It's all I was raised for. I was told it was never going to happen. "I also felt abandoned," Terri said. "I learned at an early age to escape painful feelings. I turned to drink to numb my heart. Of course that didn't work but it kept a husband happy." But she always felt the shame her mother had left her with. "If sexual abuse weren't such a taboo subject maybe she would have noticed the day of the triple rape. I was 14." She goes on, "In my 50's after 11 years clean and sober, I decided I couldn't take the pressure anymore and since it was drink or leave, I left, and the addiction was waiting for me. It would take years before I would dare to try to face my life again. Today I thank God for opening my eyes when I asked Him to." Terri says she was returned to sanity and saw how wrong some of the things were as she grew up." They were things I needed to resolve. Now I want to help get resources out there for others who are wandering blindly, in the hope they won't do it for 50 years."